An aching need... my Daddy... a mushy moment

This pic, I saw it and felt my head spin and my pussy throb. Every day I dream of kneeling before Daddy. I picture it in my head, my body reacts, my heart races, my eyes water, my face flushes. I'm not sure if I'm ashamed to say this or what, but I'm a 40 year old woman and I don't think I've ever wanted something so badly. It's such a new feeling, to NEED to kneel. I don't want to kneel to just anyone. Hell, my virtual abilities as a Mistress are very good. Many a man has knelt before me in the Virtual World (and sounded as if they did in the RL *winks*), professed their devotion to me, begged me to take them as theirs. I have knelt in the past, but its never felt like this. This man, my Daddy, my Master... he is an extraordinary man.

I've never been with him in RL, but I feel as if I can trust him with my life.... huh.. wow.. that's some heavy stuff.

Anyway... back to the pic. It makes me ache to kneel before him even more.

Earlier I felt uber mushy with Daddy. I do my best to say in the moment. I'm not perfect. In fact, many of my thoughts are of the future, a future with Daddy. The mush moment happened because the thought of not ever being with him crossed my mind and  *damnit I'm tearing up* and i felt, feel my heart hurt and my stomach twist.... OHhh.. he's online.. brb...

Well, its been days since I started that post (above). I'm truly lucky to have Him in my life. If I never get to kneel before him, well "Life is what happens when we are busy making plans." But I'm most definatly a better woman for having known him.

Daddy's Back!

Daddy is back from his trip! *smiles and does her wiggly happy chair dance* I feel as if a fog has lifted, the sun has risen, my lungs are filled with fresh oxygen. I could go on an on! *smiles and sighs* I've missed him terribly.
I've never been so happy to hear someones voice. I heard him say "hello babygirl" and I started crying. It was almost surreal. He had sorta slipped into surrealism. But, hearing his voice, hearing his breath, feeling him... *sighs deeply again*... my body sprang to life. My mind spun, my body reacted, I felt as if I were 'me' again.
When I talked to Daddy earlier in the day, via text chat, he told me that he wanted me ready to chat by a certain time. I was to not wear any panties, I was to wear a skirt or some loose pants, and I was to be wet. (Goodness I love it when Daddy directs me.) The wet pussy part wouldn't be a problem at all. Ever since I saw his little online indicator light up, my pussy has ached. While he was gone, I ached thinking of him, I'd look at his pic and my heart would leap and I'd ache. I DID ache when he was gone, but  *sighs softly* my pussy aches so much more intensely when he is 'here'.

RL finally permitted time to chat. I also was instructed to have a dildo ready to be used. I had that and a vibe as well. I ended up in the bedroom and felt like I was floating speaking to him, hearing his voice in my ears, feeling the affect he has on my body. I ended up cumming for him, dildo in my pussy, my hand rubbing my clit, Daddy's clit. But.. that's another post :)

I am such a slut for Daddy. I crave him so badly. The draw I feel to him, it's unlike anything I've ever felt. I think one of the things that makes me smile the most, I like him :) Not just love him, but genuinely like him. He makes me laugh when I'm down. We have things in common, not just the lovely 'pervilicious' side hehe (Daddy's word)  I can easily 'see' us just sitting on the couch together, be it watching a movie or reading. I can see how being in silence in his presence would be wonderful :)  Peace and serenity isn't always exciting. Sometimes boring is lovely :)

Collared by Daddy

It was 3 months ago today (the 10th) that Daddy 'officially' collared me. *smiles all wiggly* Not just my avatar, but I think the best real-life long distance collaring that could have been done *smiles wide* He chose a collar online, sent me the money, and I ordered it. I LOVE IT. It has three rings on it (ohhhh the possibilities), its black, and it looks great on me. He had me get on my knees, he shared what giving me the collar meant. (mental note to see if he remember what he said exactly) I was so overwhelmed I remember that it touched me so much. Feeling it go around my neck. Hearing and feeling Daddy's words in my ears. I teared up and cried a bit. I dont know if he heard me, perhaps a bit. hehe. 

My gosh its gotten late.

Daddy knew that I didnt need a physical collar to feel collared by him. I gave myself to him. I had one moment in time when I chose of my free will to submit to him. To give myself to him. I am his to teach, to love, to use, to tease, to train, and so much more. From that moment on, I had no choice. I am his. I have no choice BUT to crave him, to need him, to adore and love him. He's honored me with accepting my gift. He shows his love to me on a daily basis. I've always said, its not the bunch of dozen roses that leave a lasting impact , it's the 12 single roses given.

I wish that I were the girl in this pic, that he was the man. Being his submissive, being his..... *sighs deeply ans smiles softly* I can't get over how freeing it feels.

I love you, Daddy. I find myself speechless so often when I think of you.

Today's Kiss for Daddy 7-9

I adore you my One. I miss you terribly.

Today's Kiss for Daddy 7-7

Daddy should be home soon. I miss hearing him. I've felt better the last couple days, Daddy made my heart race and my body ache a bit in emails. He knows how badly I crave him. I love being a good slut for Daddy.

I have fantasized about this pic, before I'd ever seen it *smiles wide* I've made Daddy's pussy cum before with my hand clamped hard on my mouth as if he were keeping me quiet so I wasn't heard when I cum :)

Today's Kiss for Daddy 7-6

Daddy will be home soon. That means soon I can hear his voice. I can feel my heart racing and my nipples hardening just imagining it. The way he whispers in my ears. The way he does that sort of breath/sigh.... MMmmmm I know he's comfortable and I'm pleasing to him. I need to please him, I HAVE to... I have no choice, do I.

Sweet release for Daddy

*smiles and sighs with a bit of a drunken grin*

Daddy just emailed me this : "Hey sweetie. Drop to your knees and make Daddy hard. Cum for Daddy. Now."
 
Needless to say I did JUST that *smiles wide* I went into the bathrom, knelt on a towel by the bathtub, sitting on my feet I rubbed Daddy's clit until I came VERY hard. I felt like such a good dirty girl for him. My left arm across my nipples, hand on my right nipple, forearm on the left. *MMmmmm

I imagined His standing over me, his cock out, before my mouth. I heard him in my mind, as my thighs were on fire, my feet numb, I came hard, clenching my eyes, holding my breath, feeling my face flush from the orgasm and lack of oxygen.

I came and almost collapsed over the sde of the tub, letting the blood go back to my feet, feeling my pussy twitch a bit still.

I love being Daddy's slut. I love being his girl. Even after cumming, just thinking of him makes my pussy ache again.

Cumming for Daddy

I was a good girl today. I came so good for Daddy.

I was at work, writing him, and my mind started to wander. I was in the bathroom and I started IMing him on how I was going to cum for him today. I intended on being in the bathroom, on my knees, his pen in my pussy. I had the image in my head, I could feel the sensations in my pussy. I was also telling him about something I imaged...

This is me IMing Daddy... no *sighs* he wasnt there, but he'll get it later, and maybe read this. *grins and licks my lips as I feel my nipples harden*


12:00 PM
Daddy.. today I will cum like a good slut for you. I'll cum in the bathroom, on my knees, your pen in my pussy.
 I am your fuck toy, I NEED to be that. I have no choice. I had this image in my head as I was peeing earlier.
12:01 PM
(i think of you often then because when I pee sometimes I will feel it in my clit))
 I imagine myself laying on a bed, your inspecting me. Someone else was there. They weren't touching me, but stroking himself as he watched you.
You were whispering to me.
12:02 PM
"babygirls my sweet fuck toy, isnt that right?"
 I imagined laying there on my back with my legs parted as you were inspecting my wetness with your fingers.
 I imagined nodding and feeling myself slip into you, whispering back 'yes Daddy'
12:03 PM
You whisper "Do you have a choice babygirl?"
  I whimper and shake my head as my hips shiver and say louder "No DADDY! I dont have a choice!"
  my thighs jump because your fingers graze against my swollen clit.
12:04 PM
Daddy... I love to fantasize about you.
  I open your pictures, I look at them through drunken eyes...
  Imagining your there.
  *sighs feeling that delicious throb of Daddy's pussy
12:05 PM
 mmmmmm Daddy I do need you.
  I need to feel your cock gag me
12:06 PM
I need to feel your hand smack my ass as your hips thrust your cock so deeply into me that I scream in pain from the depth, hitting my cervix.. making me yelp as the air escapes my lungs.
12:07 PM
Daddy I need to feel my breasts against your thighs as my hands are bound behind my back.. breasts against your thighs because my mouth is being used as a fuck toy.
  Daddy.. I want my tummy issues healed, not so much for me, but I want my ass ready for you to deflower.
12:08 PM
I want my ass to be ready for your cock, your finger, or your plug.
  Oh god Daddy... I'm aching so fucking badly now...
  I need to touch myself..
  your pussy
  OOoooooo
12:09 PM
nice puddle forming at the entrance to your fuck hole.
  Oooo Daddy
  gets Daddy's pen from her purse
  Daddy I need to cum
  so badly.. so badly for you
12:10 PM
opens Daddy's pics
  sighhhhss sfeeling the ache more
  oh god daddy
12:11 PM
(slipped in pen.. standing at desk)
  sits .... fucking me with daddys pen
  whimpers oooh daddy
12:12 PM
oooo daddy.. a co-worker is in a office about 10 feet from me..
  i'll have to be very quiet
12:14 PM
sighhhsss daddyyyy
  20ft
12:15 PM
ohh daddyy
12:16 PM
daadddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
  ohhh fuck daddy
12:17 PM
*sighs a longgg happy breath
12:18 PM
 Daddy.. I think i was a good slut for you. I was very quiet.
  not even a loud breath.
  mmmmm daddy i needed that so badly
12:19 PM
Thank you so much to tasking me that.
  You know whats best for me, more than I do usually.
  I do feel better. I think its been days since your pussy has released.
12:20 PM
Thank you Daddy
12:21 PM
I feel 'me' being your slut, your girl.



*smiles wide*
Daddy.. I love you so much.

Today's Kiss for Daddy 7-5

I adore you Daddy.

Today's Kiss for Daddy 7-4

Before I logged I was feeling SOooo tired, I didnt think that I'd have the energy to complete my Orgasm Task. Daddy tasked me weeks ago that I must let him know daily how I will be cumming. He asked that I plan ahead, but I seem to be procrastinaing for some reason. He's said that I'm a better babygirl when I cum daily. I get too cheeky I think, when I dont cum *smiles*

This pic... MMMmmm I saw it, the thought of Daddy's tongue touching mine... MMmmm THAT makes my pussy start to throb. I'd gone all day without feeling that "Daddy's throb". The "Daddy Throb" is not like anything I'd ever felt before him. The ache, so F-ING deep. My heart races and my lungs feel like I need more oxygen. My goodness.... my body reacts to him, I have no choice.

I adore you, my One.

I miss you so very much.

Today's Kiss for Daddy 7-3

Daddy, the few words we exchanged meant the world to me. Thank you for taking the time *smiles so wide* I am so grateful for you. Just the few moments we shared has lifted my spirits.

Never forget how much you are appreciated. :)  Life and the people around us don't always let us feel that. But I hope not a day goes by that I don't let you know and feel that you are loved and appreciated. You are wanted and needed, but not for what you can give me, but for what you share with me and simply, for who you are... all the sides of you. All the facets of you. You are my One, my friend, my confidant, my love, my mentor, my Master, my Daddy, my One.

I adore you.

Today's Kiss for Daddy 7-2

I miss you, my One. 

I miss hearing your voice  "pssst". 

I miss hearing your laugh. 

I miss hearing the squeak of your chair. 

I miss you.

Daddy, 

You lift me.

You inspire me.

You make me laugh

and cry tears of pleasure.

I think of you and my eyes open,

my body reacts and

my smile is one that is only for you.

I wish I had the eloquence and education to write you a love poem. All I can do is speak from my heart. My heart may be naive, but it is yours. I am Your's. This woman I am, the woman I'm becoming, I submit to you all that I am. Yours to mold, to teach, to grow, to love, to whip, to tease, whatever you desire.  Each morning I awake I feel that. You are the first person I think of in the day, and the last one at night. 

I miss my friend.

I miss my Master

I miss my Daddy

I miss my One.

Daddy, when I smile at myself in the mirror, you are reflected. You've taught me that I am worth loving. I am worth the effort. Those days when I don't feel that, thank you for being my support. 

The pic above *smiles and sighs* I am yours, Daddy. I love You.

Today's Kiss for Daddy 7-1

Well, my day has been shitty. But I still wanted to post a kiss pic for Daddy. Yay, its 8pm, I dont think that's too early for bed, a good way to end the fucking day NOW. I'm tired. Emotionally and physically, I'm tired... numb.

Fuck it all and suck it up. It could always be worse.

*sighs*

This pic... I love to stare at it, imagine Daddy. 

 *sighs and stares at it*

I imagine, with the water so still, he is moving his lips slowly over her neck, she's got her legs wrapped around his waist, perhaps his cock impaled into her pussy. *sighs*

I adore you, my One.

Amazing, she wrote my thoughts and didnt know it...

I found this website : www.babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com While reading one of the pages about babygirls and their Master/ Daddys.... I was blown away. How can this woman who is a perfect stranger write those words that were in my mind. I truly am his babygirl. Deep down, I dont know if I'd ever have it in me to look for nor even want another. The circumstances in which my Daddy and I have grown together are so unique, I think even an earnest effort to recreate them would be fruitless.

Here are some exerpts that.... *laughs softly*... that were pulled from my mind.


In order for a babygirl to truly be herself with her Daddy, its vital that she find the One that she trusts completely and without hesitation. This trust starts outside of the 'dungeon'. Her trust must be unwaivering and is a neccesity before the relationship can be fulfilling for B/both. A girl's submission and trust is her gift to her Master, a gift that must never be tarnished by her Daddy. A Daddy is unwaivering and consistent, which allows you to trust withough hesitation. you know you've found the One meant for you when you can say and honestly feel as though there is nothing that your Daddy would ask, that you'd not do.

I wont go on with what it says, but check the link here : http://www.babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com/whatisababygirl.htm  I am grateful that she took the time to write it. Even more grateful that I'm not alone in my thoughts and feelings.

She spoke of a "safe haven"  Daddy is that for me. He is the calm in my storm. He is the spark that ignites the flames that burn so deeply within me, I'd no idea that for so long they smoldered beneath what society smothered them with.

I'll write later of my tasks for today.

Kiss for Dadddy

I was able to exhange email/notes with Daddy last night for a few minutes. It was wonderful feeling as if he were 'there'. I miss him so much. But, I am a strong girl. I'm his babygirl and I have him in me. That fact alone makes me stronger than most. I dont say that boasting, I say that with a grateful heart.

I adore you, my One.

Today's Kiss for Daddy 6-30

I adore you my One. You are missed.

Goosebumps and Completing a Task

I've found a couple audio waves that Daddy sent me months ago. *smiles and sighs* MMmmm to hear his voice. To hear him so loudly in my head. My heart skipped a bit the minute he spoke his first word. The goosebumps raise and my nipples get so hard, I feel my pussy throb deeply. Its only a matter of minutes until I feel that wonderful "flowering". *sighs a soft moan*

"Good morning little one. I hope you slept well last night. Perhaps much better than the night before. I wanted to remind you to have your red pen with you today, as a reminder of my presence. As a reminder of who allows you to cum or not. I'll be thinking of you, you'll be in my thoughts baby, kisses"

*SIGHS and feels my heart beating harder* The red pen.. watch the movie "The Secretary". I was instructed to watch it. Each time the red sharpie pen was shown/used, I was to rub my pussy through my panties with the red pen. *grins wide*

Daddy loves to use vanilla things for a bit of kink. There are so many household items I'll never look at the same. :~D

I am such a slut for him. It amazes me how my body reacts to him. A word, a breath... my head instantly spins and my heart leaps up into my throat. Over the months I've known him, the feeling has intensified.

I need to complete my task for the evening, my orgasm. I did well keeping up with the other things today, keeping track of my food, exercise, and the affirmation phrase I am to whisper/say/think on the 3's on the clock. 9, 12, 3, 6, etc. ((Today due to work tho I was late a few times :{ ))I am to touch his/my pussy and say "This pussy belongs to my Master. This cunny belongs to my Daddy. I am owned by my One"

I miss him so much. If he were home, we would have at least text-chatted this evening.

AH! I'm rambling...

The task, make Daddy's pussy cum. (I say "his" pussy, because I've given myself to him) I should go get my vibe.... brb...

I'm scanning over old chats. There was a chat when Daddy stated that "your actions are not your own anymore sweetie. you need permissoin concerning what and when you eat" *sighs softly and feels my pussy ache at that* No one has ever exicited me with controling me like him. He often tells me I "have no choice". That is so true. I have no choice, my body is his, it reacts to him.. as he said in that chat:

Daddy: and your cunt is no longer yours as you know
me: no Daddy.. its Yours.
Daddy: Your tits are mine.
your mouth is mine
and you represent me.
me: blinks long, breathing fast.. nodding.
Daddy: a part of me.
me: yes Daddy.
Daddy: you don't ever want to disappoint your Daddy do you?
me: no Daddy
not ever.
Daddy: nods and kisses your forehead
me: smiles and... breaaaths.   Daddy... you free me.
Daddy:" now that you are wet for Daddy perhaps you can think clearly how you will cum for me today.
me: smiles and blushes
.... perhaps in my van in the park...
Daddy: do it after your walk
when you are hotter
me: nods and smiles feeling the juices between his lips tickle
Daddy: perhaps glistening a little
think about how Daddy might have you on a leash walking you
or perhaps waiting for you back at the van
a little surprise visit.
me: breaths a soft whimper
Yes Daddy
Daddy: ok sweetie, Daddy loves his baby.
me: i love you Daddy
Daddy: you cum good for me
kisses
me: yes Daddy


MMmmmmmm *sighs deeply as I press the vibe harder on my lips, shorts around my feet.. replaying his audio wave*

Daddy I miss you so much.

*Rubs the vibe head around the clit slowly*

Your pussy Daddy

sighs a soft whimper "mmmmm Daddy"

imagines Daddy watching her.. making sure I tease his clit well. *sighs a moan*

oh fuck daddyyyy

sigghhssss daddyyy  im sooo wet

.... *insert hard orgasm here * .....

WHEWwsss

*smiles drunk lost in the thought of him*

I love you Daddy :D Time for bed, but I need to floss and brush still (nightly tasks also given to me by Daddy)

Last nights Task & Today's Kiss for Daddy

I'm in a weird mood today. I call it my 'safe mode'. It's like I'm sorta neutral? I don't sense any ups or downs. I haven't had my heart beat hard for good or bad reasons. Perhaps I'm tired, perhaps it's just be being out of balance. This 'mode' isnt me. I'm generally in good spirits. I like to smile, I like how smiling affects others. So.. perhaps its a good thing I write this. I dont like feeling so distant from Daddy. I miss him terribly *sighs feeling my eyes burn a bit*

Today's Kiss... I have seen this pic before. I think I've sent it to Daddy via email. It has so much passion and shows his power, I can almost feel her knees weaken at his touch *smiles and sighs softly*

Last night I completed part of my daily tasks, an orgasm, by cumming in my computer chair while watching a chick on porntube (or some porn site) going down on a guy. OH.. MY.. GOD.. she was freakin' incredible. Heather Brooke was her name. She looks so young. But she sucked his cock sSOooo well. I IMed Daddy that I wanted to be hypnotized so my gag reflex wouldn't affect me when I suck cock. I would love to take Daddy's cock deep like she did.

As I was saying, I was at the computer, watching the videos, watching her take the long cock deep. I had my pink vibe held down on my clit, shorts already down around my feet, as I lay back and slip into the scene. The vibe can be so intense I have to actually keep it to one side of my clit. Its just WAY too intense to hold it on it or have direct connection. I've done it, with Daddy in voice, he's pushed me to hold it there as long as I can. Of course I end up screaming and my body shuddering. Its just SOOO intense!!! I've been driven to tears with its intensity right on the clit. ((Hearing Daddy whisper encouragement and direct me to keep it there longer makes me sooo freakin' wet))

The man on the video was just about to cum as I felt my orgasm climbing. I imagined the girl being me, and the man Daddy. Looking up to him as I wiggle my head down his shaft, shoving his cock a bit deeper. I came sooo hard. That vibe has a way of making my muscles contract and hold a bit longer with each wave. One time I touched my post-orgasm clit with the vibe when removing it.. HOLYyyy shit that made me jump!! HAhaha

I was a good girl and able to go to the gym as well. I didn't do a major work out as I was still a bit tired from my tummy issues earlier in the week. I was on the treadmill for 30 minutes and went through some of the weight machines, upper body. Today I've been able to eat a bit more and tonight intend on doing a High Intensity class at the gym. :)

I actually feel better writing. Amazing how writing (and recalling an orgasm) can brighten ones spirits. :~}

I miss Daddy so much. *sighs feeling my throat swell* I've tried not to think of missing him today, stay in my safe mode, but he's such a huge part of me I cant deny that I miss him. Yes.. some days we don't contact each other that much, but there is just something about knowing I'll be lucky if I get a couple sentences a day for the next couple weeks. It makes my throat swell up. If you read this Daddy.. I know we only have this moment. But.. forgive me for being selfish and wanting you for all my moments. *swallows hard and blinks back the burning tears* I love you.

Tasks While He's Gone & How I came

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It is a dream of mine to serve Daddy 24/7. 

Serving your Mistress or Master

I found this at this link, it is very interesting :)

I saw the other day on Femdombride.com that Goddess Starla had gotten fired from her job. She came home obviously very sad and depressed but was greeted by Randy who knew just how to service her to cheer her up a bit. Randy’s such a good husband slave. I know that because as soon as Goddess Starla walked in the door he could ll that she was not feeling too good and he immediately went about finding a way to change her mood. A good slave has to be hyper sensitive to their Master’s or Mistress’s feelings.

There have been countless times when Master has come home in a fowl mood and I have had to judge whether it’s the type of mood that I can change by servicing him or whether it’s the kind of mood that is unalterable and I should just go sit in the corner silently until the clouds have disapeared. It’s not always easy judging your Master’s moods. There have been times, in the begining where I would just seem to sometimes make him worse off than he was but I quickly learned to decipher the variations of grumpiness so that I now know what to do when confronted with a particular state of mind.

Sometimes all that a nasty temperament requires is for me to throw myself down upon my knees and to kiss his boots to show how happy I am that he has just walked into the door. Other times a back rub will do the trick  or even a blow job. When he is in the worst of moods complete submission is usually the best route and I’ll sometimes misbehave so that he’ll have to punish me and in doing so release some of his pent up feelings.  Randy judged Starla perfectly as he gets down to worship her shoes and feet. By the end of the episode, Starla is even wearing a little smile on her lips as she shoves her foot deep into Randy’s mouth. Looking at these pictures made me realize one of the many important duties that a slave has to his or her Master or Mistress and that is to properly service them even when they are in horribly bad moods!

Go to the link to see the pics. I DREAM of being able to please Daddy 24/7. 

Just 'off'

((I started this last night, but sleep got the best of me))

Daddy's been out of (normal) touch for 5 days now. It's been the longest 5 days. He's been gone before, but it seemed as if he was in contact more. Perhaps the fact that he'll be gone for weeks this time is in the back of my mind.

Me, I was sick for a few days. I hated to tell him about it. I didn't want to take away from his vacation. But, I knew if I didn't, he'd be more cross with me. I've had to have some tests done, hopefully all will be ok... Tummy issues.

I had a good cry last night. I was missing him so badly. I vented a bit via email. All the while bawling hard. I think it helped. I'd not been able to eat, I was tired, frustrated, still had things that needed to be done for my boys (2 sons). It definitely cleared my head.

I've felt "off" since he's been gone. The longer I know him, the more I feel as if he's definitely a balance in my life. It's a new feeling for me. I was always told to not 'need' anyone, especially a man! hehe. But the need I feel for him doesn't stem from a weakness. It's like it stems from something deeper. He is such a part of me. His voice is in my head. His words of wisdom. He laugh.

I think of him and my body instantly reacts in some way or another. Right now, with him being gone so much, its an ache in my heart. It's like that home-sickness that is felt to the depth of your core when you just dont have that foundation that you need. I am a strong and intelligent woman. But I am also Daddy's babygirl. The day I gave myself to him, that I submitted my entire being t him, I was given permission to need him. He's smart, he knows the responsibility that comes with owning someone. I don't think he took collaring me lightly.

BAH! I'm rambling and whats worse my mind is skipping from one thought to another. Enough for now.

Today's Kiss For Daddy 6-28

Daddy's seen my eyes. I'd say in the light they are actually a bit lighter than these (they look as if they've been colored anyway). The light affects the lightness of mine, but.. I think Daddy can imagine my eyes looking up at him with more than a pair of lips at my mouth *smiles wide*

I love you so much Daddy. I miss you terribly. I feel as if a piece of me is missing. I am being a strong girl for you, but... please forgive me for needing you so much. It's not because I'm weak, it's because you own me. I feel a bit lost without my One.

Today's Kiss for Daddy 6-27

As always Daddy, my lips are Your's, as is my every inch of my body. But, you and I both know, I have no choice anymore, do I? I am Your's. I made the choice once to give myself to you. Since then, I've no choice BUT to crave you, to please you, to need you as I need the air in my lungs. I adore you, my One.

Today's kiss for Daddy 6-26

Here is Daddy's kiss for today.

I love you more than I should, more than I thought I could, and each day I am a better woman for having you in my life.

Long Distance or Not, I'm His babygirl...

I stopped blogging for a bit. I stopped because I felt as if I didn't deserve to be called a Daddy's babygirl because my Daddy is so far away. I know now, it doesn't matter where He is, He is my Daddy. He is the One I've submitted to, I've given myself to Him. He controls me with a word, often with just a breath. Hearing him breath when we talk, its as if his breath is passing through me. The whole point of this blog was to use it as an avenue of expression. For me to voice my thoughts, fears, kinks, and desires. I know that Daddy reads this, but I also know that my Daddy is such a wise and intelligent man. He, from what I can tell from the past half year, He doesn't take my issues personally. My garbage/baggage is something that he wants me to be rid of. He knows how much I love him, need him, and just simple belong to him. He sees me. He sees me so clearly it scares me sometimes. But, its also a relief. Never before have I felt so completely open to someone. So completely vulnerable. So owned.

I cant be other babygirls. I can't compare myself to the other bloggers and their lives. My life is mine. I don't know when/if I'll ever be able to write that I'm with my Daddy in RL. But, thats another post. I can say that the thought of NOT being with him someday makes me instantly tear up and my throat close. That sensation frightens me a bit. I'm a grown woman, mother, not as dumb as a box of rocks, yet this man has got such a hold over me. But.. the tighter the hold from him, the more free I feel.

So.. enough for now!

 I intend on doing those 30 days of truth and kink. I think they will be a good exercise.

FYI.. my Daddy is out of normal contact for a few weeks. Usually we are in contact throughout the day, via email or gchat. Even a few times a week in voice. But for the next few weeks he'll only be able to contact me sporadically. It's killing me yes, but it is what it is. Its a risk of loving someone who's got another life that doesn't include me. Or I should say, doesn't include me to the extent that I'd so love. SOOoo..that means I'll (hopefully) write more. I still have to do my daily journaling for him as well as a type of affirmation at least 3 times a day. But that another post :)

*hugs*

I liked the pic/saying below. Thought it was sweet.



pause

Lots has happened.. but while reading other blogs about Daddy/babygirl relationships, mine seems somewhat silly. So many good blogs out there about real life Daddy/babygirl happenings and events and just everyday life :)   

I may keep adding links to all things Daddy/babygirl.

*hugs*

two hands and one heart

A Task From Daddy

Last week Daddy had a task for me. I was to crop my ass 12 times, then straddle his boot and grind my pussy against it until I came. If there were issues doing that I was to, while stradling still, use a vibrator and cum on his boot. After doing that I was to lick it clean and thank him for the task.

First I cropped my ass. I struck it more than he instructed. I tested different ways. The hard on strikes made me almost fall over with cringing pain. Then.. I tried more controlled,  not so hard but fast slaps, gradually getting a bit harder. Oh they hurt, but it was more like a climbing pain, one that was like a stamina building.. escalating. The sudden strikes.. they will take getting used to perhaps.. or not used to, but accustomed to. I want to find a way to redistribute the pain. BUT.. i think if I were to be into my Master's space, that subspace, I think I would handle more than I'd realize.

 I took the boot from the closet and hugged it as I breathed in the leather. I used an extra pillow, raised the boot a bit. My ass was still stinging a bit. I straddled it, then reached down and parted my lips to place the toe of his boot on the clit. I was pleasantly surprised how it felt. Moving my hips back and forth, mmmm.. it was rubbing my clit so nicely. It was like a teasing rub. I started to remind myself, relax, not a race, slip into Master. Then I thought.. Ohhh the vibe clamps! Ohh those are intense. One side of the clamp does have little teeth, the other side is flat. Then... when they aren't turned up to the max, they do feel good, that hypnotic pain-good. But.. Ohhh and when they are on high vibe.. Ohhhhh my goodness!! (oh aching just thinking of it) I also got the vibrator as well.

I had the clamps on, straddling his boot. I thought to myself, "I need to have my hole over Daddy's boot so I will cum on the toe" So I positioned Daddy's throbbing fuck hole over the toe, pressed the vibe just above my swollen clit, and turned the clamp vibes on high. WOW the intensity!

I pressed the vibe, feeling myself slip into daddy. Feeling him in my mind as I was obeying him. Doing my best to please him. My body was on fire. I took the crop and started to repeatedly spank my right ass cheek.. over and over, quickly. It was during all these sensations that the pain and the pleasure were mixing so incredibly well. I kept whispering aloud "Thank You Daddy.. Thank You"  My nipples pinched so tightly hurting but the vibrations tickling them, me on my knees straddling his boot, the vibe by my clit and the crop consistantly on my ass. I felt this pang of wishing Daddy was there, but then the ache of feeling him deep within me. My being his good slut.. needing to be his good slut. My voice whined and whimpered as I kept going. It did cross my mind that if Daddy was there, I would beg him to please crop me as I was, to let the sensations mix. Then.. I would be able to slip deeper into Him.

I knew the orgasm was near, with the vibe my pussy will sometimes actually do these sort of pre-orgasm orgasm-type long contractions and then my clit will feel that uber-sensative pulse. It happened twice within a minute or so, I remember saying "Oh Daddy.. so so close". Then, I felt it, I said the word in my head over and over, hearing Daddy's voice. I didnt realize that I stopped cropping, I didnt stop consciously, but I remember during the orgasm thinking "fuck I stopped" and wished I hadn't. The feel of the orgasm made me stop *pouts*

As my orgasm subsided, my eyes felt that sort of swollen sensation, from the rush of blood I'm guessing. I removed the vibe, took a pic of my face as it showed me still aching, I didnt send it to Daddy though. I took a pic of the nipple as I pulled it a bit. Its amazing how the vibration and the pain balance out. But when the vibe stops, Oooo those little teeth on it are like JAWS. And pulling them off.. Oooooo I thought of what Daddy's told me. That I should have them pulled off while having the orgasm. I thought "If Daddy was here, he'd do that" these clamps cant be pulled tho, it would rip off my nipple! They have to be "opened" to be removed.

As I sat back I thanked Daddy for letting me be his. I'm so fortunate to have him in my life, even the bit that I have, I'm grateful for.

Boot time - Licking Daddy's Boot

Daddy tasked me to do something in RL that I've done many times in the Virtual World. To kneel and lick his boots. To kiss them with passion. To tend to them lovingly as my tongue licks at the leather to shine it.

I have a pair of "butch" boots. Sorta like biker boots. Black leather, thick sole, laces on the front but also zipper up the side, up over the ankles. When he brought up the task, my heart skipped. I knew I was going to enjoy doing that for him. I was pleasantly surprised how I took to it. I took some pics for him as well.


The feeling of the leather against my flat tongue as I slowly dragged it across the toe... it was mesmerizing. I didn't have any fear of "where was I last time I wore these". I just knew that what I was doing felt so good. It made my pussy ache.. one, because I was obeying my Master, two, because my mind had slipped into him and I could almost sense him there. He is buried so deeply in me. His voice echos in my mind. I could hear him as I was kneeling and licking. "There's my good girl, lick Daddy's boots nice and clean" I could almost imagine his hand along my back. I could almost feel my body tense as he reached those so very ticklish spots on my back.

Last night I said 'good night' to him as I clutched a boot. My chest on the floor, ass up in the air, my arm around the boot. I lay my cheek onto the boot and just slipped into him. Feeling him. Feeling how my mind spins when it if filled with thoughts of him.

I ache to place my lips upon his boot.

Much to catch up on...

Goodness!! Daddy's been home and I've been tasked some incredibly moving things. So much to talk about!!

But right this moment, this very second.. I'm still a bit lost in him. We just finished a text chat. Some are more "RL" where we may discuss our daily agenda or perhaps he only has popped in to say hello. He's so wonderful how even when he's so busy, he'll still pop online to say hello. Not a day goes by (except for the rare occasion he's out of town) that he and I don't chat and connect in some way shape or form. He is so good to me. I've always said that actions speak louder. And my Daddy's actions speak louder than he does. He doesn't get overly mushy. But from time to time he does, and it melts me beyond description.

Right now.. I still have the remnants of "him". It only takes a few words.. a phrase from him.. and I'm slipping into him. The conversation lead to me getting a collar for RL. My RL partner and I have discussed it. We often dabble in the BDSM, but for reasons I don't need to go into. He (RL partner)  will never be 'deep' into the lifestyle. But I've brought enough of what I've learned into our lives that its made our intimacy a lot more fun <smiles wide> So.. I asked Daddy if he found one for me that he liked, I would buy it. I would LOVE to wear it when we have our together time. It took just one phrase from him and I slipped so very hard into him... "using the collar ring to grab hold of... pushing my cock just a little deeper in that lovely throat"   <sighs and feels her mind slip> Ohhhh Daddy.... Mmmm my Master.. I so crave to be used by You. I slip into him.. I feel that subspace creeping in.  I'll have to do a post about how it feels to me. It's a form of hypnosis I think. I found a post about subspace and it hit home. I'll have to see if I can find it. I feel him still.. I feel how my head spins.. my eyes burn a bit and my breathing slips into those long deep slow breaths. I am so His.

Do I keep slipping more every day? Can it be possible? I dont know.. but it sure feels as if I do. <sighs and breaths a long content breath> I love you so Daddy.. I love you more than I thought I could. More than perhaps I should, but the depth and breadth of what I feel is all You, uniquely You, overwhelmingly You.

<breaths deeply> Ok. I'll stop the mushiness <grins>

I'm sure I'll have much more to write today to catch up :)

Daddy returns

Be still my heart *smiles* Ever been so relieved that you exhale and you didnt realize you were holding your breath? Thats how I feel at this moment.

I've missed my friend. The lump in my throat, the feeling of relief in my gut.... I'm so smitten, enamored,  infatuated, and perhaps obsessed with Him.

Does it make me weak to accept that in being a babygirl for him, I need him? Does it make me weak to accept that  yes, I need to be pushed. I am a smart, strong, and creative woman. But, I've always had that part of me that just didnt push myself. I was always the "B" student that got the "if she only applied herself" notations on her report card. It's almost a relief to accept I  "need". For so long I fought to accept "I dont need anyone". I think we all need someone. Hmmm... but what is the depth of that need? Interesting questions. Perhaps it must balance with trust? Perhaps someday he'll trust me as I do him. Until that time,I must accept the way things are. I must accept that in my 'needing' I'm vulerable. Being vulerable can be a scarey thing.

Anyway.. I'm rambling. Enough for now. I'm just pleased he is home. Such a relief

Tintin is on.

Master vs. Daddy... and Tasks

When Daddy and I play a bit... rougher... we seem to slide into a Master/slave frame of mind. When I'm bound (remember this is Virtual, unless I state that I've done something in RL) and He is using me as a fuck toy, I refer to him as Master, and I am his girl or slut or fuck toy or whatever He chooses to refer to me as.

Daddy's been on a business trip. He left me a list of tasks to perform while He was away. He was able to email once a day, but that is a big difference from the time we get to text chat, email, and play in our VW (virtual world) most days. We are also able to voice chat once or twice a week. <sighs at the thought of his voice>

Today's task.. I had to masturbate and cum twice, outside of a building. I was able to perform his other tasks so far. I had two writting tasks and then yesterday I had to gag myself with a dildo for 5 minutes before I was allowed to cum. Today tho, I was only able to cum once. I was in my car and I came hard as my fingers teased and circled my clit and as I fantisized about Him. There were RL issues that kept me from being able to complete the task, to cum twice. I hope Master will understand.

Has been a long day. Time for bed.

my Daddy

I won't reveal too much about Him. I love him too much to do anything to jeopardize His RL (Real Life).

He is probably the most intelligent man I know, yet he "holds back", I can tell ;-p  He has a peace about him that I've only encountered in people a few times in my life. When we voice chat I melt from his voice. I love that I can laugh and be silly, then in the next moment be an intelligent woman. He is the first person I've been able to truly open up to. I've got girl-friends I can talk to. But I'm too embarrassed to share about sexual desires and fantasies. I can tell him my biggest fear and my most dirty little secret, and I feel loved and understood.

Our time together started out as him being a submissive to me in a virtual world. Wow... that was over a year ago now. It was more of an experiment on His part, he's said. His main avatar is a Master. But he was the most fantastic submissive. I've always thought, it takes a great submissive to be a great Dom/Domme. Back then I fell for him, but I did my best to not 'let on'. Circumstance separated us for some months. We started talking again, more as friends, which I loved. Letting the walls down allowed me to see a bit of his depth. I asked him again to be Mine, yet he graciously declined. I had hurt Him before. I understood and I was so very happy to be able to call him friend.

It was through our chatting that it came out I was aching for a Master. I'd been a Mistress to many in this virtual world. I started out in that BDSM arena as a submissive. A friend I'd known for a while accepted my begging to be collared by him. He taught me much before I'd even thought of kneeling and I learned more being at his (virtual) feet. He was a kind and strict Master. He said I was the best slave he'd ever had. *smiles wide* I adopted much of his Dominant beliefs and feel that doing so has made me an exceptional Domme. But.. that's a story for another post *winks*

My Daddy. I do my best not to fawn over him too much. We have a private journal that I write in. He reads it and gets to know me. I will sometimes forget that he reads it. Now and then I'll see a comment from Him in it *smiles*. For a long time it was a requirement. Daily i HAD to write something. Now, here I am writing often in it and even wanting to start this blog. I love to write. I've been told I write well. I don't know if I'm grammatically or technically correct. I just write what I think and feel.

He's sooooo incredibly handsome. He's about 10 years older than me, a fact which I'm most happy with. I think older men are so much more interesting, less threatened with a woman who has half a brain, and know what they want in life. We live in the same time zone, which is nice. From what he's said, he's got a lovely family. I'd never want to do anything to risk hurting them. I'm not that selfish. He's greying which i also find so incredibly hot, and he's got these piercing eyes. His smile just makes my heart melt.

Before I even saw a picture him, I knew how I felt about. I didnt care what he looked like. His mind touched me in ways that no one ever has. When I logged in that avatar and knelt before Him for that first time, it was as if I was free. My body reacted in ways I'd never EVER felt in my life. The combination of trust, admiration, friendship... everything. I felt so comfortable and.. so at home. He was the One. He was my One.

How I feel often with him....

((Image found at this blogsite: http://remakingmosaic.blogspot.com/))

I feel so vulnerable. It frightens me at times. I've opened myself up, peeled back the layers. I can see how I'm 'naked' and so... so under his control, his spell.... I'm His. His possession, His babygirl, His fuck toy.

We have talked at length about our pet names. We both have kids, we've both questioned, is it crossing a line? We've discussed things and have said at times in some way "yes, that's too weird and not right". I am uber protective of my kids. It took me months to find a home that wasnt in a half mile of a pedophile. The last thing I want to do is to 'create' a monster by being a babygirl to a man. I have thought at great length, and I'm very comfortable with the 'roles' we have taken. I'd not change a thing.


I joke that he's ruined me. I'll always compare men to him. He's more to me than I think I can even understand. Its so rare to have it all fall into place. But it has, and I adore him.. I love him and its as if each day is like the first. My heart races and I feel all weak. Its been 6 months since I first virtually knelt before him. And I dream of doing that in RL some day. But.. regardless of that dream, every day I wake comforted to have him in my life. To have him guide me. I would have no qualms about turning over every aspect of my life to him. I trust him... BUT...  ((There is always that "But" hahaha)) to be continued...

Why Blog About This?

Ever find out that you are curious about something, you do a web search, then you find out that little is out there about it? Perhaps that's why I'm doing this. *shrugs* For the most part I'm doing it as a means of expressing myself as I delve the thoughts, ideas, and feelings of this new found.... this new found fetish that I've been "living". I use quotes because its a virtual D/s "relationship" of sorts. Virtual meaning W/we (my Daddy-Dom and I) met in a virtual world and we live out our D/s (or DD/bg) lives together there.

This blog isn't necessarily going to talk just about Him and i. But if it weren't for Him, for His being curious if I had ever referred to a Dominate as "Daddy", that spark.. the FIRE wouldn't been lit.

I hope to connect with other babygirls and learn from them. It's amazing how much of the babygirl 'fetish' that I read about is in me, its like a light bulb going off every time I come across another babygirl blog. Me? Me! I'm a 40 year old married woman with two kids, a mortgage, and bills. I live out my fantasies in the virtual world because my husband, even tho he and I play a bit with light bondage and pain, he doesn't have in him what I need and due to our history the trust that is needed, that I feel I need in a DaddyDom, isn't there.

((image is from a sort of repost from a tumblr blog : http://dilemmalee.tumblr.com/post/12572143047))


I feel like I'm about to burst. I've experienced so many new feelings, sensations, and.. like this growth in me that is filling me with such... such love.

I have a DaddyDom (whom I will refer to as just Daddy) that I love. I love Him more than I thought I could, more than I should, and so incredibly... I just cant put it into words. How different it is. How, how fulfilling.. how freeing!

My heart is so full when I think of Him. I crave to kneel before Him and I crave to serve Him. I have given myself to Him. But that is for another blog post *winks*

A side note, He's in a committed RL relationship and no, neither one of us is about to selfishly turn our Real Lives upside down to be together. Do I hope someday to be with Him? It is a dream. I'm allowed to dream. *smiles wide*